Peppermint Patti
By Peppermint Patti
JOTR Columnist
An annoying whine, Sophie, is a dog’s best friend.
The dog who hesitates to whine, for fear of bothering two-leggers, will never be enshrined as an exemplar of canine nobility and self-abnegation.
Nothing good happens to dogs who don’t seize the moment to whine.
And that is not only too bad for them, because their prissy behavior encourages discipline among two-leggers, along with denial of a dog’s due.
Bad behavior in two-leggers, once done, is rarely undone.
But I digress.
Whining, Sophie, is one of the most effective and persuasive tools a dog has.
And it is so easy — if you have the skill, which is that uncanny knack for knowing when the proper moment has arrived.
Such a moment most often includes plates, bowls or silverware with nourishing dregs attached.
This is a dog’s over-arching challenge, because two-leggers, in their self-absorption, often overlook opportunities to benefit their dogs by setting plates and other utensils conveniently on the floor.
A dog who sleeps through such opportunities or worse, who allows her or himself to be distracted, bounding out the deor to chase a bush-tail, is doing a disservice to all dogkind.
Two-leggers are so easily mis-trained, Sophie. Once an upright walker has acquired a bad habit, the cost of re-training can be excessive.
Do you want to spend time playing Pavlov’s game in reverse trying to get your two-legger to unlearn a trick that could so easily have been avoided with a little forethought?
But again, I digress. Let’s revert to our topic — the whine in time.
Yes, Sophie, a timely whine will often achieve two good things at once: Temporarily piqued, the two-legger looks for the quickest, easiest, most expedient way to remove the annoyance. Two-leggers are, after all, egocentric creatures who must be prodded into seeing the wider good.
The good of dogs.
There is more to whining than the noise, Sophie. There is technique.
The dog, having taken a place near the table where a meal is in progress, simply cocks her head and aims her snout at the attraction, whatever foodstuff it might be.
I highly recommend not simply whining at will. There is no point in compounding annoyance with irritation. Best wait until there is intent conversation between the two-leggers. Remember that they are self-centered beings who dislike interruption. By interrupting, you annoy. By annoying, you sow the need to stop your whine. This is opportunity. Two-leggers, once engaged in heavy discussion, are prime victims for the piercing, high-pitched and long-sustained whine.
Watch and see how fast those plates hit the floor!
It is win-win, Sophie.
The dog is given his or her due with the plate or bowl, while the two-legged walker receives the benefit of feeling good about making the dog happy at no additional cost to the two-legger.
None of which could have occurred without a timely whine.
Oops — stand by, Sophie.
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I’m back.
Butt check.
