By Joel Thurtell
The Detroit News was huffing and puffing when their editorial writers advised striking Detroit Symphony Orchestra musicians that “union-protected jobs with six-figure salaries are scarce in today’s Michigan. The musicians should hang on to theirs with both hands, and pray along with the rest of us for a future that returns our state to prosperity.”
But the editorialists didn’t think their proposal through to its logical end. Maybe the temptation to toss a slur at unions was just too great.
The editorial is based on a crude non sequitur — that somehow US Census figures for wages and poverty should determine the pay scale of world-class musicians.
Yes, DSO musicians now earn six-figure salaries.
So do some of the bosses at The Detroit News and at its joined-at-the-pocketbook sibling the Detroit Free Press.
Would newspaper managers consider giving back a third of their salaries in hopes of…
What, exactly, would be accomplished by shorting the musicians?
The money saved supposedly would help deflate the operating costs of the orchestra. Would it also reduce the debt the DSO incurred by building the glitzy Max M. Fisher Music Center?
Can’t blame the bubble-brained decision to take on huge debt on the musicians.
The honors for that patently stupid move go straight to the DSO board now demanding that employees accept draconian pay and benefits cuts.
The suggestion, uncorroborated, by DSO president and CEO Anne Parsons in The New York Times that “we’ve got board members whose pensions have disappeared” is a red herring meant to confuse the discussion. Are those the board members who chose to incur huge debt to build a fancy albatross?
But still, maybe the News is onto something. What if we did say to the DSO musicians that they must swallow that 33 percent reduction in base pay. What if we went further: What if we told those pompous scriveners at the News that all bosses making six figures or more should have their pay cut to $70,000, the salary the DSO musicians at base bay would receive under Parsons’ now-imposed salary schedule?
Let them scrape along on $70,000 like the DSO musicians.
What if we told those three top honchos at Gannett, which owns or controls the News and Free Press along with dozens of other newspapers, that they would have to give up most of the $10.6 million they collected last year in salary and bonuses? These are tough times, we all must suffer, even honchos.
Let them contrive new budgets on their $70,000-a-year.
What if we applied the News’ proposal to ALL public and private corporate salaries nationwide? Tell those college and university presidents making gigantic salaries that they’ll henceforth be living at the DSO level of seventy grand a year. Ditto the top dogs at manufacturers, financial institutions, public and private schools — in short, every entity that pays its employees more than $100,000 a year.
I’m beginning to like this idea.
I like it even more when I think about what could be done with the savings.
The News didn’t think about this. They were too busy taking their cheap shot at “union-protected jobs” to consider the ramifications of their proposal.
What if we took all that money we scraped from the DSO musicians’ salaries as well as the salaries of every citizen, union member or not, making more than a hundred thou a year and put it in a pool?
It would amount to a huge sum.
Why, the gleanings from billionaires like Warren Buffett, Bill Gates and, hey, even a piker like Matty Moroun would add up to a ton of money.
I’ll add the numbers later. Right now, I’m wondering what we could do with all that money.
Why not divide the pot in such a way that every person in the U.S. would receive a base salary of $70,000?
I’m not sure whom to credit for this brilliant idea, the DSO or The Detroit News.
But I sure am looking forward to my seventy grand.
Aren’t you?
Drop me a line at joelthurtell@gmail.com
