Peppermint Patti
By Peppermint Patti
A smart dog, Sophie, will not eat blue cheese.
In public.
What I mean by “public” is in the presence of two-leggers.
A dog’s penchant for blue cheese, Sophie, is not something a two-legger readily understands.
I know from experience.
Okay, maybe you don’t see my point.
Not all dogs are endowed with a taste for fine cheese.
It would appear that you black labs fall under the not-endowed-with-a-taste-for-cheese category.
Although I have somehow misplaced my papers, I am a bichon and have a rarified French gout for cheese.
I am gifted in that direction.
I would be falsely immodest if I denied it.
The experience I’m speaking of occurred due to an opportune oversight by my male two-legger.
For a trip, he placed two packages marked “cheese” in a plastic bag.
The package marked “Brie” was less interesting, being unopened and not rife with odors.
But the one marked “Danish blue cheese” had been opened and my two-leggers had sampled from it.
It was the beginning of my great taste opportunity.
The oversight I mentioned occurred when my guy two-legger put the sack containing the cheeses on a bed, by mistake.
Too bad for him.
Hors d’ouvres time came for the two-leggers, and no cheese.
He searched high.
He searched low.
But he didn’t look on that bed.
I was aware, though.
What sentient dog would not have been?
Blue cheese does not waft its odors.
It sprays the smell far and wide.
Only a two-legger could fail to notice.
Ooooooo the smells!
Scentorama.
Stereo stink.
Olfactory surround.
Will power, Sophie, superior will power prevented me from ravaging that package while the two-leggers were around.
By and by, they left. That is when I took up my task.
Hors d’ouvres time for the dog.
Blue cheese is too good to be scarfed up all in one sitting.
I knocked the package to the floor, pawed the top off and had my first taste.
Exquisite!
Do Danes have dogs?
Oh yes, Fat Danes.
But there is a moral to this story.
My two-legger came home and found the unopened Brie.
He accused me of hiding the blue cheese.
He was correct, of course.
I pushed it under a bed.
But he would never have found it, except…
I admit, I just couldn’t stop myself.
When my two-leggers repaired to bed, I slipped under the bed and once more sampled the blue cheese.
I was not as smart as I would have hoped.
My male two-legger heard me slurping.
Unjustly, he took my blue cheese away.
He THREW it in the TRASH!
The least he could have done was let me finish it.
If he wasn’t going to eat it, he should let another enjoy.
And there is your moral: As I say, Sophie, a smart dog will not eat blue cheese in public.
