Tag Archives: The New York Times

My NRA hit list

By Joel Thurtell I’m on the NRA’s hit list. They’re hitting me up for money so they can protect patriotic Americans whose “Second Amendment rights,” the NRA claims, are in danger of being “dismantled and destroyed.” “THEY WANT TO MAKE … Continue reading

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Excuses, excuses

By Joel Thurtell Oh, come on! The Detroit Tigers defeat the New York Yankees in the first two games of the American League Championship Series, and The New York Times puts the lamest of excuses on Page One: Gray Pinstripes: … Continue reading

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‘Nature of the issue’

“The strife distracted everyone because no one could push back,” said one current trader in the office who insisted on anonymity because of the nature of the issue. — The New York Times, “Discord at Key JPMorgan Unit Is Blamed … Continue reading

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Guts on the floor

eviscerate vb 1. (tr) to remove the internal organs of; disembowel 2. (tr) to deprive of meaning or significance 3. (Medicine / Surgery) (tr) Surgery to remove the contents of (the eyeball or other organ) 4. (Medicine / Surgery) (intr) … Continue reading

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Reasons not to cancel the paper

By Joel Thurtell We’ve already learned from my star columnist, Peppermint Patti, why she thinks my idea of reading newspapers on my laptop is bad, bad, bad. I have only one lap. It can hold a laptop computer. Or it … Continue reading

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My run for President

By Joel Thurtell For too long, a veil of secrecy had shrouded my Presidential candidacy. My ambition to govern these United States, to solve all our problems, economic, social, spiritual and yes, even musical, knows no bounds. But I had … Continue reading

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