By Joel Thurtell
Wanta put on a play — cheap?
You can blow a lot of money in theater.
But there’s a stage for hire at 2 Woodward Avenue in Detroit.
Real cheap.
For $150 — a hundred fifty smackers! — you can rent a hall.
Your play can last however long it needs.
What kind of deal is that?
Pretty damned good!
The theater is called Wayne County Circuit Court.
Try to rent a theater anywhere in Metro Detroit for that price.
Good luck!
A few downsides:
Court theater doesn’t serve dinner.
They don’t sell tickets.
If there’s a hot show, better get there early and be ready to stand in line.
And some of the stages are pretty cramped.
They call them “venues.”
Judge Prentis Edwards’ 9th-floor venue is really, really small.
Seating is limited.
But the audience for the play tomorrow, January 12, 2012, is pretty well assured.
This story is hot.
Question is, Will the star performer, aka witness, show up?
That would be Manuel “Matty” Moroun, billionaire non-owner of the Ambassador Bridge.
Well, actually, he IS the bridge’s owner, after all.
The Big Man tried to squirm out of showing up in court by claiming he isn’t really the bridge’s owner.
That didn’t fly with the Michigan Court of Appeals, which affirmed Judge Edwards’ command for Matty to show up tomorrow.
The appeals court told Matty he puts his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of humanity.
His billionaire status and Grosse Pointe mansion don’t buy him out of court.
Still, I’m told The Great Man will find a way to shirk his court appearance.
Does he think it demeans him?
Actually, yes, I think he believes he is some kind of Übermensch.
That his enormous wealth buys him a different set of rules.
What are the odds that Matty will be a no-show?
I googled “betting line Matty Moroun.”
Couldn’t find odds on Matty’s showing up in court.
What happens if Matty fails to appear?
If this were just a traffic ticket, I suppose the judge might simply assess fines and costs against Matty and mail a bill to his Grosse Pointe mansion.
But this is about Matty’s repeated refusal to do what the judge repeatedly has ordered him to do.
Last year, Judge Edwards briefly jailed Matty’s gofer, Dan “Rubber” Stamper, president of the Detroit International Bridge Company that operates the Ambassador Bridge that Matty most certainly owns.
Judge Edwards put Rubber Stamper in jail to get his and Matty’s attention.
A year later, Rubber and Matty still aren’t complying with the judge’s order.
So, if Matty doesn’t show tomorrow, would you bet the judge will simply mail him a letter listing his fines?
Flip the discussion around.
What if Matty DOES show up?
Well, if the judge thinks Matty’s blowing billows of smoke at him, he could do to The Big Man what he did to Rubber Stamper: Let him cool his heels in jail.
This is exactly what Matty doesn’t want.
Rich guys don’t spend time in stir!
Just ask Al Taubman!
Matty KNOWS he could go to the slammer.
That’s why he claimed not to own his bridge.
So, if Matty’s afraid the judge will jail him if he shows, what does he think the judge will do if he fails to appear?
Bottom line for us journalists:
If Matty shows, he’s a story.
If Matty blows, well, he’s still a story.
Drop me a line at joelthurtell(at)gmail.com
